shit happens

**WARNING**

sarcasmistic.blogspot.com advises that the following is not for those who are in the middle of eating/drinking. Failure to adhere to the advise may result in choking or vomiting.

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If you have absolutely NOTHING to do, then it might be worthwhile to check out urban dictionary. It's an excellent time-waster and you'll probably get a few laughs out of it.

My personal favourite that I happened to come across on urban dictionary:-


SHIT

1. One of the most popular swear/cuss/curse words/profanities

2. another word Feces. Poop. Dookie. Scheisse. Poo Poo. Brownies.


The Shit List:

The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.

The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit
Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The Corn Shit
No explanation necessary.

The Lincoln Log Shit
The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The Nororius Drinker Shit
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Liquid Shit
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.


There are a few more types of shits that aren't mentioned here, so if you're really interested in it, then go to urbandictionary.com.

Hopefully none of you were eating while reading this.